Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!  As I write this post, I am feeling pretty satisfied about the state of my life:  I sent my mom a homemade card, med school applications are underway, I am not myself a mother, and I might just have put my finger on exactly why the pro-life movement bothers me so much.

It came to me while I was thinking about my own sweet mother.  For years, this woman helped me with infernal science fair projects, drove me to violin lessons and birthday parties, and endured my tantrums with a patience that astounds me more and more the older I am.  She made sure that I ate my vegetables, paid for my braces, and allowed me to host slumber parties that would inevitably result in my giggling and screaming pre-pubescent friends running all over the house in the middle of the night.  Even now, almost a quarter century after giving birth to me, she pays for my education, sends me cute cards and letters "just because," and loses sleep over my well-being.   She does all this in spite of the fact that I am a legal adult.  And it's the same with my dad.  Parenthood really is a life sentence, or at least a binding contract.  

Pro-life protesters trying to deter women from entering clinics often call out helpful incentives to keep their babies, such as offers for a free baby blanket or pacifier.  This is a huge insult, as it implies that the pocket change needed to purchase baby supplies is the biggest obstacle an accidental mother will face.  Leaving aside the enormous financial investment that a baby requires, raising a child demands maturity, patience, stability, and life-long devotion.

http://cdn.keyj.com/files/2011/05/adult-baby-250x200.png

Not to be entered into lightly

The crisis pregnancy centers that manipulate women into becoming mothers and the pro-life activists who just succeeded in defunding Indiana's Planned Parenthood are, in essence, grossly undervaluing the enormous commitment that parenthood entails.  Parenthood doesn't end after a 9-month gestation, nor after 18 to 26 years of tax dependency.  While I'm celebrating my mother today for choosing to have me, I fully acknowledge that she didn't have to do so.  Women deserve every chance to decide whether to enter into the biggest (and longest-lasting) commitment of their lives.  And children deserve parents ready and willing to make that commitment.  

International Women's Day

For a few years now, I've been hearing about the 8th of March's celebration of "International Women's Day" from my very Bulgarian boyfriend.  This very Socialist holiday is Valentine's Day and Mother's Day rolled into one, but I'd never heard of it from anyone besides Nikolay. Today, however, while walking in the streets of Madrid, I saw Spanish women carrying roses, and signs and banners commemorating the 100th annual Women's Day.  Turns out the Bulgars didn't make it up.

In honor of this festive and feminist occasion (and given that my sojourn in Spain doesn't give me much time to write a blog post!), I wanted to post an extremely relevant film.  It runs almost an hour, but it is well worth the time.

http://www.answers.com/topic/a-walk-to-beautiful-1

Film: A Walk to Beautiful

This award-winning documentary focuses on five Ethiopian women living with obstetric fistula, a devastating yet reversible injury incurred during childbirth.  If you have never heard of obstetric fistula, I am not going to describe it here - just be aware that there are complications of pregnancy far worse than going into labor in a taxi or elevator, as per sitcom convention.  

According to the UNFPA, approximately 2 million girls and women worldwide currently suffer from this condition.  Obstetric fistula almost exclusively affects women from impoverished regions who give birth before the age of 18.  Married off before puberty and impregnated through what would most tactfully be called statutory rape, the girls unlucky enough to develop a fistula endure their condition along with the disgust of their husbands and the rejection of their communities.

The documentary is poignant but not preachy, powerful, yet not overdone.  The disclaimer at the beginning of the film warns the viewer that the subject material is "mature."  Unfortunately, there are some aspects of pregnancy too unpleasant for baby shower games, and not cute enough for a TLC special.  In a nation that loves to raise its voice about choice vs. life, Roe vs. Wade, we so rarely discuss the victims who suffer most at this crossroads of culture, politics, and religion:  young, impoverished girls who have never had a "choice" about anything.

Crisis

http://www.impact73.org/Lifeboards.php

Project Lifeboard offers you "options," but not "choice."

This week there was some good news in the world of Choice.  According to the NYC city council, Crisis Pregnancy Centers, pro-life organizations which disseminate ads like the one seen above, must now specify in their ads 1) what specific services they provide, and 2) whether or not they hold a medical license.  Baby steps, but steps in the right direction.  This is some progress, but I am far from satisfied, for numerous reasons.

These centers usually present themselves as medical clinics offering abortions and other pregnancy services, though their true purpose is to dissuade girls experiencing an unwanted pregnancy from having an abortion, and often to win Christian converts along the way.  Most centers are in fact unlicensed and staffed solely by religious volunteers and medical assistants – people who have had less than 6 months of medical training.  The only services offered are pregnancy tests and ultrasounds.  Even more absurd are the tactics used to wheedle girls into choosing to keep a baby:   “patients” at these centers are shown footage of a fetus’ beating heart, are encouraged to marry the baby’s biological father, and receive blatantly incorrect medical information about the dangers of having an abortion. 

According to the website of Ramah International, an alliance of pregnancy centers,  there are a few things I should know if I am considering an abortion:  1)  Abortion is a risky procedure, often performed in unsanitary conditions.  2)  Following an abortion, I am 33% more likely to experience an ectopic pregnancy, 50% more likely to develop breast cancer, and 600% more likely to experience abruptio placenta. 3)  Following an abortion, I have a 50% chance of developing “Post-Abortion Syndrome,” which leads to depression, anxiety, and suicide.  4) My fetus can feel pain beginning at 9 weeks.  And, most ridiculous, 5) I should first take a pregnancy test at the center, because THE DOCTOR WHO TOLD ME I WAS PREGNANT MAY HAVE LIED IN ORDER TO SELL ME AN ABORTION.

These claims are all false, as well as ridiculous (honestly, has a doctor ever told someone he had cancer in order to “sell” him a surgery?)  It is one thing to run an establishment dedicated to spewing hellfire and damnation of the religious variety on women who are in genuine distress.  It is quite another, however, to disseminate deliberately false medical information in an effort to terrify and manipulate women into making what will probably be one of the most important decision of their lives.  Imagine a scared, pregnant 16-year-old girl entering what she thinks is a medical clinic, being told that she has a ~50% chance of dying from the long-term effects of an abortion, and making a decision to keep and raise a baby based on that information.

But lest you think that this is the last stop on the Crazy Train, 20 US states currently provide funding for these Crisis Pregnancy Centers (my own native Georgia being one of them).  These are tax dollars, being spent on a service that masquerades as something it’s not and then lies directly to its clients.  This is like spending state money on a fire station which pretends to be a restaurant and then tells customers that too much friction during sex will cause a forest fire.  And these are the tax dollars we can’t afford to allocate for family planning.

Though NYC has voted to begin regulating its centers’ advertising and similar measures have been enacted in Maryland, such legislation has failed in most staes.  Nationwide, crisis pregnancy centers outnumber abortion clinics 4 to 1, and receive approximately $25 million of state and federal assistance.  Using tax funds to encourage teens to marry and raise children, without providing them with the appropriate pre- or post-natal care or contraceptive options?  Makes fiscal sense to me.

Pregnant?  Alone?  Confused?  For the love of God, go to a real doctor.